Arian Om’s Journey Earthside ~ Our Home Birth Story

 

photo by Carissa Gay
photo by Carissa Gay

PLEASE BE ADVISED… This is the whole, raw, complete, beautiful, sacred truth of our birth story.  No details spared! 

It was 1am, Monday, December 22, 2014, on the Black New Moon of Winter Solstice.  I awoke with a cramping sensation.  I might be in labor, I thought, so I took note of the time and fell back to sleep.  About 8 minutes later, I awoke again with the same cramping sensation.  Not wanting to wake my husband, Jon, until I knew for sure, and knowing that he would need his rest to support me, I continued to rest in between rushes, keeping track of their distance apart.

Around 3am, the rushes were about 4-6 minutes apart and getting stronger, and I was having to breathe more deeply through them.  Needing no further convincing, I awoke Jon, letting him know that I was in labor.  I explained that I should eat something to build my strength, so he went to the kitchen to bring me some soup.  While he was away, I suddenly had a craving for one of my son’s organic, whole food bear vitamins, so I called for him to bring two of them, too.

This was my second birth, and I was amazed at the deep, calm wisdom within that I felt guiding me.  I welcomed the experience, knowing that every rush would bring my baby to me.  I trusted my body and felt fully capable of bringing our child into the world.  With my amazing, supportive, deeply loving husband by my side, I could do anything.

After gaining nourishment, I went to the bathroom while Jon prepared our bed.  As I passed by the mirror, I realized I was wearing the shirt my Mom gave me just a few days prior.  On the front was a huge open lotus flower.  How perfect!  I sat on the toilet to pee and saw that my mucus plug was making its way out.  I began singing that just like a lotus flower, I, too, would ooooOpen wiiiiiide.

I walked around a bit, and by 4am, my rushes were a couple minutes apart and around 40 seconds long.  I texted my midwife, Jennifer Vines, to let her know that I was in labor and inform her on the status of my rushes.  She asked if I would like to have doula support or contact her as things progressed.  I chose the latter.  At this point, I was feeling very tired, so I asked Jon to lie down with me to see if I could rest between rushes.  We spooned and he rubbed my back.  I could feel him sharing loving, peaceful energy with me.  So soothing…  Amazingly, as if my body heard my call, my rushes spread back to 6 minutes apart for a little while, so I was able to sleep between them.

Two hours later, at 6am, my rushes got closer and intensified.  I sat up recharged and ready to give birth to our baby.  We called my Mom to get her up to speed, telling her she could contact my Blessing Way circle of Sisters around 7am to light their candles and send good energies…and that she should arrive around 8 to be there when our 5 year old son, Abner, was waking so she could help dress him and take him to her house just down the street.  She expressed that she kept feeling that the baby would come around 11am.  I then had Jon call the midwife to give her an update on my progress.  She said she would begin gathering her things and her team (her daughter, Carissa, and Sandee) and head our way in a bit.

The toilet, being a place of opening and releasing, felt like a good place for me, so I decided to hang out there.  All the while, Jon was right by my side supporting me, rubbing my back, thanking me and telling me how beautiful I was and how wonderful I was doing.  With each rush, I would tone low, primal sounds while visualizing myself opening up like a lotus.  The sounds washed through me, helping me open and relieving my discomfort.  In hindsight, I imagine these sound vibrations also comforted our baby from within.

(Click here to hear my Primal Birth Sounding.)

My bum began to get tired of the toilet seat, so I asked Jon to prepare a bath.  He helped me up from the toilet, and we danced as he assisted me into the tub.  Ahhhhhh, how wonderful the water felt.  I called upon its wisdom, the support of my ancestors who gave birth before me, Source and my highest guides.  The sun was rising, casting the most beautiful golden hue on the woods outside my bathtub’s picture window.  I felt so much love from the sacred cedars and all the nature spirits, expressing my gratitude for them.  I visualized my central channel cleared and charged with pure Source energy.  I could feel it pouring in through my crown and emanating throughout my being.

Still in the bath, at 8am, my Mom arrived just as our son was waking.  The midwife and her team arrived at 8:30 and finished prepping our bedroom.  Sandee was diligently providing doula support and giving me water to drink between each rush.  My Mom and Abner came to tell us goodbye, and they left for her house.

photo by Carissa Gay
photo by Carissa Gay

Feeling my rushes beginning to become stagnant, my intuition guided me to get out of the bath and back on the loo.  Once there, my midwife, Jennifer knotted up a sarong to create a little tug of war for Jon and I.  I began pulling on it during rushes, and after a couple went by, I suddenly heard and felt a POP, followed by waters rushing out.  I then vomited, but only once.  After that, my rushes reached a whole new level of intensity, like crashing waves on a stormy day, coming strong and fast.  I knew then I was in transition.

Uncomfortable with the hard toilet seat at this phase, Jon assisted me to a seated position on the Gaiam ball that my intuition guided me to borrow from my Mom weeks prior.  My chest was supported with pillows on our bed in front of me.  It was then that I felt the urge to begin pushing, and with each rush I would circle my hips atop the ball, noticing that certain positions would bring forth more waters.  I was a mammal, a powerful tigress, sounding deep and guttural.  My team assured me that I was very close and doing great.  Though I wanted to believe them, a part of me felt they were just saying that to make me feel better, since I pushed 3 hours with my first.  I realized that doubt wasn’t helping, so I shifted back to trusting and knowing it was true, that our baby would soon be born.

In no time it seemed, I began feeling down pressure sitting on the ball, and decided to get up.  My team guided me on all fours, placed the ball in front of me and draped a towel over it for me to grip.  As my legs were tired, I sat back on my feet in a modified squat position and kept pushing with the rushes.  Oooooooooooommmm…Ooooooooooommmmm… more sounding, more opening.

All the sudden I found myself concerned over not having paid my midwife in full, yet.  I knew from reading the birthing stories in Ina May’s midwifery books that once women voiced their toils, the baby came right out.  She sensed my thinking, and asked me about it, just as I was beginning to share that there was something I needed to express.  Once I did, and she very kindly assured me that she was not worried about it, that it was okay, and that right now, I just needed to have this baby, I got back to the task at hand.

Just as the stories told, within 5 minutes, I felt a strong burning sensation.  It was like I was giving birth through my bum hole.  (People don’t talk about this much, but it’s true!)  Jennifer checked me, and she said she felt the baby’s head.  After a couple more pushes, she directed me to raise my bum up off my feet a bit and shared, “We’ve got the head!”  On one hand I was so excited to hear his head was out, but on the other hand I was like, “Then what is the hang up?!”, because with my first, once the head was out, the rest of him just slid on out.  I felt a gentle tug and immediate relief…our baby was born at 11:34am!!!  Since I was facing the other direction, I turned my head and saw our precious BOY!!!  Surprise, it’s a boy!!!  I watched as they cleared his airways and he turned pink.  The song of his cries was music to my ears.

Jon helped me to the bed, and they placed our precious baby in my arms.  Infinite loooove!  We went right to work on getting latched and breastfeeding.  It took him a little while, but he tried diligently and got the hang of it, finally latching and drinking in my sacred, natural nourishment.  The placenta was born and Jon cut the cord once it was done pumping.  Abner and Mom arrived at the house to check on us, only to find that the baby had been born.  They came in and greeted our new family member, Arian Om.  All together, our family of four at last.

photo by Carissa Gay
photo by Carissa Gay
jess29
photo by Carissa Gay

Once he was done nursing, Jennifer and her team took him to clean, weigh and dress him.  I hear Jennifer calmly proclaim, “He weighs 10 lbs., 13 oz.”.  “WHAT!?”, I responded.  She repeated herself, and I couldn’t believe my ears.  He was 22″ long, his head was over 15 inches and his chest was over 16(!!), which was why his body didn’t just sliiiiide right out.  I was so amazed and happy that I had birthed that much baby without a single perineal tear.  Jennifer shared that he was the biggest baby she had ever caught or even attended.  She returned him to my arms quickly, so we weren’t apart for long, and it was sail away to baby bliss for me.

Nature’s Wisdom ~ Rise Above with the Hawk

Kristofer Rowe Photography
Kristofer Rowe Photography

Just a friendly little hawk reminder for today. When we get too wrapped up, or close, to a situation in life, let us not forget to rise above it, and remember we are ever changing, infinite beings, choosing this life experience for a little while. All ails shall pass. Treasure the lessons, offer gratitude for the blesSings. When welcomed, use your powers of creation to see/sing/feel/paint the matter to its highest potential, and let go of the rest.

You ARE so very beautiful! I love you all!

~ Jess ♥ ∞

Nature’s Wisdom ~ A New Season with Praying Mantis and Bear

Praying_mantis_insect_photo

Yesterday, hubby and I enjoyed a precious, Soul-quenching day, just the two of us. Late afternoon, we stepped out our back door to make music together and discovered a praying mantis floating in our newfie’s water bowl. Being the first out the door, Jon immediately rescued him, placing him tenderly on the wisteria vine in hopes of drying out his drowning body and recovering the use of his limbs.

As I began to sing a gentle song of love and wellness to sacred mantis, he looked away to the leaf just passed his head.  There I discovered a tiny perfectly shaped heart eaten out of the leaf. I felt his returning love and gratitude, and he turned his head to look right at me as I continued to sing and connect with his Spirit.  I knew our encounter was no accident, that there was a message, a meaning.

Hubby and I enjoyed a beautiful sunset, playing and singing together, and as we entered back into our abode, we saw the mantis had fully recovered.  Mantis’ message was divinely timed, as Spirit always is, and was perfect confirmation of my recent embrace of hibernation and reflection for creative Soul renewal.

“Usually the Praying Mantis makes an appearance when we’ve flooded our lives with so much business, activity, or chaos that we can no longer hear the still small voice within us. Taking a step back and some simple meditation would be in order here because the external din we’ve created needs to be quieted so that we can come back to our own truth. The Praying Mantis always comes to us when we need peace, quiet and calm in our lives. […] Even within this calm and serene environment you are capable of quick and decisive action when opportunity presents itself.” (http://spirit-animals.com/praying-mantis)

In the past, it has been difficult for me to allow myself to rest, to let go of the pull to always be productive and creating, working toward some desired goal. This year, I embrace my resting cycle without guilt, and in doing so, I see that the seeds I sewed during my natural times of energetic action, now blossom at my doorstep as I rest…a phenomenon I always believed possible but never truly made space for until now.

Ophrys Photography
Ophrys Photography

The past two years, the bear has visited my dreams. Last year, they were trying to eat me…a clear sign of the need to learn to honor my resting cycle. This year, from my space of acceptance and allowing, the bear returns — this time, following me around like a puppy dog…a sign of lesson learned and confirmation of my growth.

I am truly enjoying this time of less activity and more rest ~ less productivity and more play ~ less seeking and more finding ~ less projection and more reflection ~ more receiving ~ more blissful connection with those who mean the most.  I’m all aglow with this new season in life, in the moment, relaxed and open for whatever and wherever the great mystery leads me.

~ Jess ♥ ∞

Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?

Art by Lisa Hunt
Art by Lisa Hunt @ http://www.lisahuntart.com/
[…]
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name
[…]
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You’ll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned?
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sunsweet berries of the Earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once, never wonder what they’re worth
The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends
[…]
For whether we are white or copper skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains
We need to paint with all the colors of the wind
[…]
~ excerpts from Colors of the Wind
(by lyricist Stephen Schwartz for Disney’s film Pocahontas)

The Wisdom of Children ~ I am child, I am Mother

"Aria" by Jess Bray (inspired by Motherhood)
“Aria” by Jess Bray (inspired by Motherhood)

Just as most Earth children want, I desire to be seen and understood for who I truly am, to have the freedom to share deeply and truly, and to unapologetically express the wisdom I have come to share in the world. There is a deeper reason for the children we are blessed enough to bring into the world. They are meant to help us grow. Often our greatest teachers they lead us to the places within that need releasing, taking us to new depths and heights. As a Mom, this has become so clear to me. As Abner’s Mom, and now, the host of my next child, I can say that I have seen more clearly, learned more fully and loved and felt more deeply than I ever knew possible.

~ Jess Bray ♥

Nature’s Wisdom ~ World Orca Day

worldorcadayHappy World Orca Day!

Send positive vibrations to the orca, the sea and all the Earth’s inhabitants this day and each day forward.

~ Jess Bray ♥

“Look within yourself and make sure that you are using your creativity to its fullest expression. Find inspiration in music, poetry and song and create from within!”
~ Orca (http://spirit-animals.com/orca/)

Sound Healing Wisdom Echoes from Ancient Chambers

Credit: Mediterranean Institute of Ancient Civilizations
Credit: Mediterranean Institute of Ancient Civilizations

Here’s another excellent article about the “Oracle Room” of the Hal Saflieni Hypogeum, Malta (ca. 3600 BCE) and its use in ancient times as a power place for sacred sound healing.

I’ve been wanting to overtone in the oracle room since I first heard of this place. Of course, that’s just one of the many temples I would like to sing in. My vision is to do a sacred sound temple tour and film it.

I am thankful that science is catching up with what we as sound healers have carried in our souls and felt in our flesh and bones since the dawn of civilization. Every study helps highlight the validity and necessity of this healing modality in our lives.

In essence, we are all sound healers, as we each house an amazingly intricate internal resonant chamber, expressed in our very own voices. Couple the creation power of sound with the creation power of intention, and well, we can move mountains. Sound on, Soul family!

~Jess Bray ♥

Nature’s Wisdom ~ Hawk

Spirit Hawk Photography
Spirit Hawk Photography

Dreamed I was a hawk the other night, having fun with flight. Since then, I’ve seen many in my waking hours. All-ways ecstatically grateful for their presence. My blessed Brothers and Sisters of the sacred skies. Whatever it is you’ve got your eye on, keep laser focus and dive in. It will be.

~ Jess Bray 

Wisdom Within

 

We ALL have Source connection, for we ALL are Source manifested in form for a while. The wisdom of the infinite field is not only accessible by a few, but by each ONE and ALL. The wisdom IS you. Connect ~ Believe ~ Ignite

~ Jess 

beyourownguru

from the Awakening Women Institute…

The field was clear
She stepped in
Inviting me deeper within
To tune my inner ear
For wisdom on its way
Rising from the source
“Shhhh…” She said,
it’s time to listen
Everything holds the answer
What captures your attention
Lean in
Drink deep
and embody your knowing.

~Tulasi Adeva

The 12 Children of the Light: An Astrological Tale

children-of-Light_OMTimes

a divine breadcrumb trail led me here this morning. be sure to read the end as well as your sign. there is no need to be overwhelmed by the seeming enormity of what lies before us. we are not islands. that is why we have each other, why we are meant to connect, not in competition, but to help provide the piece that is ours to give and surrender to the next to carry it forth. we each carry an important task and gift. it takes great wisdom and courage to know when to act and when it is time to step back and allow the flow.

The 12 Children of the Light: An Astrological Tale

~ Jess Bray ♥ 

New Year, Super New Moon, Authentically Empowered New YOU

photo by Michael Shumate
photo by Michael Shumate

This New Year, this Super New Moon, I’m not going to share yet another “report” from somewhere, telling you what planets are in alignment, what to expect and what it is that you should do to ring in the days, weeks and months ahead.  Instead, I want to encourage and empower YOU to allow YOURself the presence of each moment.

Within the presence of each moment, within yourself, are all the tools, gifts and wisdom you’ll ever need to prepare, enlighten and guide you in each new moment of the new year and all the new years ahead.  There’s nothing complicated or analytical about it, and there’s no need to plan ahead.  It’s really just as simple as Loving and Trusting yourself enough to be here right now, and continue being here right now through each and every moment, allowing the breath of spirit fully in (refreshing and enlivening you) and fully out (cleansing you), without attachment.

All that comes into your field of experience has been drawn to you by your energetic alignment with it.  Living fully within each moment, you’re able to sense the messages and gifts you’ve drawn into your experience, so that you may expand deeper, higher and wider than the moment before.  All the elements, animals, minerals, plants, humans, spirits and energies your highest self attracts have messages/gifts for you, helping to guide you to the next step on your true divine path.  Listen from your heart, trust your intuition, and the guidance they offer will be revealed, propelling you into the next moment of your magical journey.

Each being in all of existence carries with them the wisdom of the whole.  Each being is a unique Soul manifestation of Source, who from the non-physical perspective, chose this body/earth experience for expansion of Spirit, and to be a vehicle for Source creation.  Recognize and honor the amazing-ness of YOU.  Only YOU carry your particular perspective and song, and only YOU can create and sing in the specific way you do.  Embody, trust and BE the strength, power, gift of insight and knowing that you carry, and instead of looking to others to show you the way, look within and show yourself.

Here’s to fully embracing and BEaming YOU in each moment of the new year and beyond.  Happy 2014 Soul Family!

InJoy & Infinite Love,

Jess Bray ♥

Nature’s Wisdom ~ Musings of a Hawk Whisperer

photo by Glen Tepke
photo by Glen Tepke

Yesterday, rollin’ down the road with bright and beautiful Morningstar, we begin talking about my connection to the hawks.  She was sharing a story about a day or so prior when she and her Soul Sister, Shanti were on a delicious road-trip adventure and had a flat tire.  Just before an angel of a man appeared and got them back on the road, a red-tailed hawk began spinning in circles above them as if to signal their need.

Morningstar shared how she felt I sent the hawk and was with them in Spirit.  As is begin sharing other stories where I’ve felt this to be true, Morningstar ecstatically announces a red-tail hawk soaring above the car.  I immediately turn in to a drive and we get out of the car…all the while I’m sounding the call the hawks so lovingly imparted to me and singing my hearts beaming expression of Love for her presence.  Knowing this particular hawk, I asked “Where is your partner?”.  They mate for life, you know.  She spins above us with her magnificent sunlit ivory wings, sharing in the profound joy of our communion, then up into the drifts and away she flew.

We dropped Morningstar back off at her car, so she could head off on another yummy adventure.  As we convoy down Nolensville Road, I glance above the car and lo and behold…there was the red-tail hawk AND her partner, spinning above us.  I lower the window further to sound a call of Joy, Love and Gratitude for their enamoring presence, waving my hand like a flapping wing out the car.  As we continued our travels, I lost site of them.

After waving Morningstar off on her journey, Abner and I arrive at the nearby park for a little “big wheel” driving adventure of his own.  Not concerning myself with the opinions of others, I began “calling”.  KEeeeEeaah….KEeeeEeeaah.  We made it all the way round the park, and as I watch Abner playing, I glance up and across the way, there she was…the red-tail hawk.  Other parents and children were nearby, but I sounded a call of thankfulness and after a moment of whirling recognition, once again, she was up in the drifts and out of sight.

At this point in the story, I’d like to take you back about a year or so ago.  I felt led to write a children’s book about a forest romping girl and her friend, a hawk.  I was receiving visitations all the while by my hawk friends, encouraging me in my service as a messenger.  One day while writing I came upon the time to name this hawk friend.  Knowing deeply of my connection with hawks through countless lifetimes, I asked the name be revealed in my dreams that night.  The next morning I woke up with the memory of the name Skylar having been whispered in my ear.  I was led to look this name up online, leading me to the roots of the name, which was Skye, with its origin being the Isle of Skye.  I knew I had lifetimes in Scotland, but the memories were a fog made clear with the revelation of this name…Skye…how beautifully magical!

We head home after leaving the park, and just as we’re approaching the house, there is Skye, whirling closely above our house, as if to say, “Good evening, my Sister…time to follow the sun set.”  I send a few final calls of Loving thanks for the day, for the kindred friendship and wisdom.  I cannot begin to express the all-encompassing feelings of Loving gratitude I feel for my connection with Skye, her partner, and the innumerable hawk friends I encounter everywhere I roam and in lives past.

Next time you notice a hawk in your midst, know that you are in the presence of God’s grace in form.  Listen deeply, for their messages are wise, timely and tailor made, from the highest realms to your heart.  …and I send my Love.  ~ Jess Bray “Spinning Hawk” ♥

Nature’s Wisdom ~ Eagle and Spider

Photo by Christian Sasse
Photo by Christian Sasse

all things are connected in this web of life. let your wings fly you to the highest of heights. ~Jess ♥

Nature’s Wisdom ~ Tiger

pic and artwork by Jess Bray
pic and artwork by Jess Bray

focus
fierce determination
immovable, unshakable grace
i manifest my goals
fearlessly
~ Jess Bray ♥

#cinquain

Nature’s Wisdom ~ Eagle

photo by Christian Sasse
photo by Christian Sasse

thank you, eagle, for your visitations, wisdom, encouragement, illumination and love. i have risen above my fears and self-doubts to fully accept my role as a bridge between earth and the divine. ~ Jess Bray ♥

Nature’s Wisdom ~ Red-tailed Hawk

Red Tail Hawk by Marvin Collins
Red Tail Hawk by Marvin Collins

The hawk calls us to rise above and view life from a broader perspective. From this place, daily dramas disappear and opportunities reveal themselves. Let go and ascend beyond seeming strife. Open your heart to the world. Connect to the wisdom of the highest knowledge within you. It’s always there, waiting for your embrace. May this eternal knowing be your guide. It’s time to move beyond what has been and hold the grand vision of the new world. You learned to crawl. You learned to walk. Fully rooted in the Mother’s womb, your destiny awaits. The time has come, dear ones, to spread your wings and fly. ~ Jess Bray (Spinning Hawk) ♥

For the singles and not so loving it…

the belief that if someone else has happiness, it’s somehow taking away from ours is a grand illusion we must overcome. we have a limitless supply of abundance available to us at all times. rejoice in witnessing love around you. what a beautiful mirror! the more you align with love energy, the quicker you’ll experience it in your own reality. be in your center. live your truth. hold the vision of your ideal mate…and live! he’s/she’s there and he/she will come into your life when what you want in him/her is what you are.

the key is being wholeheartedly yourself. lord knows, i could have frightened my hubby away with all the truths i shared with him at the very beginning, but it turned out, he felt the same way…of course! trust that if you’re in your truth, you’ll only attract like vibration. be okay with not attracting those who can’t dance with your energy. they don’t belong there in the first place. universal design is perfect…let it weave its magic for you and let go of the rest.

~ Jess Bray ♥

Nature’s Wisdom ~ The Great White Egret

image source unknown
image source unknown

Peace, harmony and working together for the common good are but a few of the Great White Egret’s messages.  As members of the Heron family, these magnificent beings carry a treasure trove of life lessons (amplified when in pure white form).  Want to know more?  Head over to my favorite online totem resource. …and remember, any time a creature captures your attention in the moment, center yourself and simply ask for the lesson.  Totem websites are helpful, but are no substitute for direct communication with Spirit.  ~ Jess Bray ♥

What’s Your Sign ~ online guide to nature’s symbolism

A childhood memory…

imagine

When I was a little girl, I remember often looking up at the vastness of space, trying to imagine beyond anything in my vision or knowing, in full wonder of all that is, and I would experience sudden overwhelming sensations of vertigo. My entire world would begin whirling around me, and I would be led to lie as the energies moved through. This image journeyed me back to that space-time.  ~ Jess Bray ♥