Arian Om’s Journey Earthside ~ Our Home Birth Story

 

photo by Carissa Gay
photo by Carissa Gay

PLEASE BE ADVISED… This is the whole, raw, complete, beautiful, sacred truth of our birth story.  No details spared! 

It was 1am, Monday, December 22, 2014, on the Black New Moon of Winter Solstice.  I awoke with a cramping sensation.  I might be in labor, I thought, so I took note of the time and fell back to sleep.  About 8 minutes later, I awoke again with the same cramping sensation.  Not wanting to wake my husband, Jon, until I knew for sure, and knowing that he would need his rest to support me, I continued to rest in between rushes, keeping track of their distance apart.

Around 3am, the rushes were about 4-6 minutes apart and getting stronger, and I was having to breathe more deeply through them.  Needing no further convincing, I awoke Jon, letting him know that I was in labor.  I explained that I should eat something to build my strength, so he went to the kitchen to bring me some soup.  While he was away, I suddenly had a craving for one of my son’s organic, whole food bear vitamins, so I called for him to bring two of them, too.

This was my second birth, and I was amazed at the deep, calm wisdom within that I felt guiding me.  I welcomed the experience, knowing that every rush would bring my baby to me.  I trusted my body and felt fully capable of bringing our child into the world.  With my amazing, supportive, deeply loving husband by my side, I could do anything.

After gaining nourishment, I went to the bathroom while Jon prepared our bed.  As I passed by the mirror, I realized I was wearing the shirt my Mom gave me just a few days prior.  On the front was a huge open lotus flower.  How perfect!  I sat on the toilet to pee and saw that my mucus plug was making its way out.  I began singing that just like a lotus flower, I, too, would ooooOpen wiiiiiide.

I walked around a bit, and by 4am, my rushes were a couple minutes apart and around 40 seconds long.  I texted my midwife, Jennifer Vines, to let her know that I was in labor and inform her on the status of my rushes.  She asked if I would like to have doula support or contact her as things progressed.  I chose the latter.  At this point, I was feeling very tired, so I asked Jon to lie down with me to see if I could rest between rushes.  We spooned and he rubbed my back.  I could feel him sharing loving, peaceful energy with me.  So soothing…  Amazingly, as if my body heard my call, my rushes spread back to 6 minutes apart for a little while, so I was able to sleep between them.

Two hours later, at 6am, my rushes got closer and intensified.  I sat up recharged and ready to give birth to our baby.  We called my Mom to get her up to speed, telling her she could contact my Blessing Way circle of Sisters around 7am to light their candles and send good energies…and that she should arrive around 8 to be there when our 5 year old son, Abner, was waking so she could help dress him and take him to her house just down the street.  She expressed that she kept feeling that the baby would come around 11am.  I then had Jon call the midwife to give her an update on my progress.  She said she would begin gathering her things and her team (her daughter, Carissa, and Sandee) and head our way in a bit.

The toilet, being a place of opening and releasing, felt like a good place for me, so I decided to hang out there.  All the while, Jon was right by my side supporting me, rubbing my back, thanking me and telling me how beautiful I was and how wonderful I was doing.  With each rush, I would tone low, primal sounds while visualizing myself opening up like a lotus.  The sounds washed through me, helping me open and relieving my discomfort.  In hindsight, I imagine these sound vibrations also comforted our baby from within.

(Click here to hear my Primal Birth Sounding.)

My bum began to get tired of the toilet seat, so I asked Jon to prepare a bath.  He helped me up from the toilet, and we danced as he assisted me into the tub.  Ahhhhhh, how wonderful the water felt.  I called upon its wisdom, the support of my ancestors who gave birth before me, Source and my highest guides.  The sun was rising, casting the most beautiful golden hue on the woods outside my bathtub’s picture window.  I felt so much love from the sacred cedars and all the nature spirits, expressing my gratitude for them.  I visualized my central channel cleared and charged with pure Source energy.  I could feel it pouring in through my crown and emanating throughout my being.

Still in the bath, at 8am, my Mom arrived just as our son was waking.  The midwife and her team arrived at 8:30 and finished prepping our bedroom.  Sandee was diligently providing doula support and giving me water to drink between each rush.  My Mom and Abner came to tell us goodbye, and they left for her house.

photo by Carissa Gay
photo by Carissa Gay

Feeling my rushes beginning to become stagnant, my intuition guided me to get out of the bath and back on the loo.  Once there, my midwife, Jennifer knotted up a sarong to create a little tug of war for Jon and I.  I began pulling on it during rushes, and after a couple went by, I suddenly heard and felt a POP, followed by waters rushing out.  I then vomited, but only once.  After that, my rushes reached a whole new level of intensity, like crashing waves on a stormy day, coming strong and fast.  I knew then I was in transition.

Uncomfortable with the hard toilet seat at this phase, Jon assisted me to a seated position on the Gaiam ball that my intuition guided me to borrow from my Mom weeks prior.  My chest was supported with pillows on our bed in front of me.  It was then that I felt the urge to begin pushing, and with each rush I would circle my hips atop the ball, noticing that certain positions would bring forth more waters.  I was a mammal, a powerful tigress, sounding deep and guttural.  My team assured me that I was very close and doing great.  Though I wanted to believe them, a part of me felt they were just saying that to make me feel better, since I pushed 3 hours with my first.  I realized that doubt wasn’t helping, so I shifted back to trusting and knowing it was true, that our baby would soon be born.

In no time it seemed, I began feeling down pressure sitting on the ball, and decided to get up.  My team guided me on all fours, placed the ball in front of me and draped a towel over it for me to grip.  As my legs were tired, I sat back on my feet in a modified squat position and kept pushing with the rushes.  Oooooooooooommmm…Ooooooooooommmmm… more sounding, more opening.

All the sudden I found myself concerned over not having paid my midwife in full, yet.  I knew from reading the birthing stories in Ina May’s midwifery books that once women voiced their toils, the baby came right out.  She sensed my thinking, and asked me about it, just as I was beginning to share that there was something I needed to express.  Once I did, and she very kindly assured me that she was not worried about it, that it was okay, and that right now, I just needed to have this baby, I got back to the task at hand.

Just as the stories told, within 5 minutes, I felt a strong burning sensation.  It was like I was giving birth through my bum hole.  (People don’t talk about this much, but it’s true!)  Jennifer checked me, and she said she felt the baby’s head.  After a couple more pushes, she directed me to raise my bum up off my feet a bit and shared, “We’ve got the head!”  On one hand I was so excited to hear his head was out, but on the other hand I was like, “Then what is the hang up?!”, because with my first, once the head was out, the rest of him just slid on out.  I felt a gentle tug and immediate relief…our baby was born at 11:34am!!!  Since I was facing the other direction, I turned my head and saw our precious BOY!!!  Surprise, it’s a boy!!!  I watched as they cleared his airways and he turned pink.  The song of his cries was music to my ears.

Jon helped me to the bed, and they placed our precious baby in my arms.  Infinite loooove!  We went right to work on getting latched and breastfeeding.  It took him a little while, but he tried diligently and got the hang of it, finally latching and drinking in my sacred, natural nourishment.  The placenta was born and Jon cut the cord once it was done pumping.  Abner and Mom arrived at the house to check on us, only to find that the baby had been born.  They came in and greeted our new family member, Arian Om.  All together, our family of four at last.

photo by Carissa Gay
photo by Carissa Gay
jess29
photo by Carissa Gay

Once he was done nursing, Jennifer and her team took him to clean, weigh and dress him.  I hear Jennifer calmly proclaim, “He weighs 10 lbs., 13 oz.”.  “WHAT!?”, I responded.  She repeated herself, and I couldn’t believe my ears.  He was 22″ long, his head was over 15 inches and his chest was over 16(!!), which was why his body didn’t just sliiiiide right out.  I was so amazed and happy that I had birthed that much baby without a single perineal tear.  Jennifer shared that he was the biggest baby she had ever caught or even attended.  She returned him to my arms quickly, so we weren’t apart for long, and it was sail away to baby bliss for me.

In the beginning, there was sound ~

Nature Soundwave by Anna Marinenko
Nature Soundwave by Anna Marinenko

“The harmony that holds the stars on their courses and the flesh on our bones resonates through all creation. Every sound contains its echo. Before there was humankind, or even forest, there was sound. Sound spread from the source in great circles like those formed when a stone is dropped in a pool.
We follow waves of sound from life to life. A dying man’s ears will hear long after his eyes are blind. He hears the sound that leads him to his next life as the Source of All being plucks the harp of creation.” ~ Morgan Llywelyn

Sing Myself AWAKE ~ Days 10, 11 & 12

‪#‎singmyselfawake‬ for 40 days with Miranda Rondeau…

Day 10 ~ On our sunset drive to market, I sang a song of self-love…so grateful for my life.

Day 11 ~ While enjoying some early morning sharing @ my Mom’s, I felt my late Grandmother’s (Mamo’s) presence. She has always been an inspiration to me and is now one of my main spirit guides. I sang a song of love and thanks to her and all the ancestors.

Day 12 ~ Sang li’l Abner up this morning with “his” song and an extra spontaneous melody of love. Nothing like his smile!

Sing Myself AWAKE ~ Days 8 & 9

My spontaneous vocal offerings for the 2nd annual “Sing Myself AWAKE” for 40 days with Miranda Rondeau…

Day 8 ~ I sang a song of love and gratitude to a beautiful Grandmother tree while my son was playing at the park. Everywhere we walked, there were feathers. We offered thanks for nature’s gifts and brought a few home for our altars.

Day 9 ~ I sang an infusion of love and joy into the bowl of cereal I made my son. My reward: a smile, a long hug and an I love you…priceless!

It’s not too late!  Join Sing Myself AWAKE on Facebook

~ Jess ♥

Sing Myself AWAKE ~ Days 6 and 7

My spontaneous vocal offerings for Sing Myself AWAKE with Miranda Rondeau…

Day 6 ~ I shared a spontaneous song with my son. Intention: FUN! It was in a flash moment, so no video was captured.

Day 7 ~ After playing with new laptop video methods today (none of which worked out), I got out my trusty camera and created a vocal offering for the joy of manifestation for all beings…inspired by this 40 day journey.

~ Jess ♥

It’s not too late to join and invite your friends to Sing Myself AWAKE!
https://www.facebook.com/events/342425689240540/?fref=ts

 

Sing Myself AWAKE ~ Day 5

My spontaneous vocal offering for the 2nd annual “Sing Myself AWAKE” for 40 days with Miranda Rondeau…

I am a bit low-tech, without a smart phone to easily take video johnny on the spot, and making one with my camera is a bit of a production, but since this began, I have found myself with more and more spontaneous opportunities to share vocal offerings. The more I sing, the more beauty manifests in my life.

Yesterday, for DAY 5, I sang a song of peace (as invited) and gratitude (since I was singing in the space I am soon to begin my offerings). Blessings abound, and I know “Sing Myself Awake for 40 days” has been a huge catalyst. Infinite thanks and returns to you, Miranda!

~ Jess ♥

It’s not too late!  Join Sing Myself AWAKE on Facebook @
https://www.facebook.com/events/342425689240540/

 

Sing Myself AWAKE ~ Days 3 and 4

My spontaneous vocal offerings for the 2nd annual “Sing Myself AWAKE” for 40 days with Miranda Rondeau…

Day 3 ~ was busy and beautiful. A recording didn’t happen, but as I washed and massaged my dancing feet in the final hour of the day, I connected with Source and sang a sweet melody as the water drained away on its journey.

Day 4 ~ Once again, not captured on video, but I got the most amazing gift today after some SUP (stand up paddle board) fun…to sing and drum over three amazing women. Intentions (set by them) ~ love, meta (kindness, compassion) and courage. We each hugged afterward and after the final offering, I was given a beautiful message of encouragement, we both cried and a group hug commenced. AND I was offered a space to do my practice. What a magnificent day! I am even more on fire with passion for my path of service.

~ Jess ♥

Join Sing Myself AWAKE on Facebook.

Wisdom Within

 

We ALL have Source connection, for we ALL are Source manifested in form for a while. The wisdom of the infinite field is not only accessible by a few, but by each ONE and ALL. The wisdom IS you. Connect ~ Believe ~ Ignite

~ Jess 

beyourownguru

from the Awakening Women Institute…

The field was clear
She stepped in
Inviting me deeper within
To tune my inner ear
For wisdom on its way
Rising from the source
“Shhhh…” She said,
it’s time to listen
Everything holds the answer
What captures your attention
Lean in
Drink deep
and embody your knowing.

~Tulasi Adeva

~ BIG UPDATE Soul Family ~

heavenonearth

I write today to let everyone know that I’m going “off grid” for a while…no phone, no internet. There are three spots left for the Awaken Your Sacred Voice play-shop on the 26th. I will check in again just prior to the event to provide the location address to anyone else who feels called to attend. I am so looking forward to singing and creating with you!

Moment by moment, I am following my highest guidance. I have shifted to a whole new level of work this year. The focus is planetary and cosmic evolution. The new world has officially birthed, heaven on earth is here and now, and with any newborn, there is much nurturing and integrating to do. Seating heaven on earth has been my vision/creation work for countless lifetimes. To be alive to witness its fruition is epic.

The time has come to BE the love you are. There is no greater gift to yourself and ALL-kind. In honor, care and full, loving embrace of ALL (light and shadow) plant, animal, vegetable, mineral and human, physical and non-physical aspects of Creation, we embody peace and true community for this planet and beyond.

At this time, the whales are calling me, and my 4 year old son to Hawaii to assist in the healing of the waters of the world and more. We will arrive there next month to do as we are instructed by Highest Self/Source/Creator. I’ve always believed in the phrase, “ask and you shall receive”, so I’m taking a big step and opening up for perhaps the first time in this life to ask for love offerings to assist my son and I in making this journey.

Your heart-full donations will help to pay our humble travel expenses and will be benefiting the planet and beyond. Any amount you can spare is infinitely appreciated and will be returned to you by Spirit, tenfold. If you feel led, please send your donation through Paypal to followyourbliss8@gmail.com.  If you need help sending money through Paypal, check out this tutorial.  You can email me at that same address if you don’t have a Paypal and would still like to contribute via snail-mail. I’m going “offline”, but will check my email from time to time.

Thank you all for BEing. Infinite Love-Light to you and yours. BElieve in YOUrself…you are Creator in-body.

Be Blissed InJoy,
Jess Bray ♥
(Disa – Love of the Stars)

Through rose colored glasses…

original image source unknown
original image source unknown

What if today, and each day henceforth, we all made a conscious choice to see through rose colored glasses?  What if we saw not what is, but what could be, and believed in it?  Believing in our rose colored visions of Love so wholeheartedly that this became our new reality.  What if we all remembered our power as visionaries, not toiling over every fine detail of how it will come, but setting sights on our wildest dreams, trusting and knowing with every twinkling fiber of Grandmother Spider’s web that it will be?  What if we knew we could have it all…that abundance was in infinite supply and available to everyone who allows it in?  What if we began to see the Earth and her inhabitants, not from a perspective of brokenness, but in their true nature of wholeness in Oneness?  What if we allowed these rose colored glasses to transform life as we know it, to life as we create it?

~ Jess Bray ♥

Inspiration…

We are SO much more than we allow ourselves to believe. One of the greatest deceptions of our time is that we are separate from the Divine, that the answers exist in some external power outside of us. The reality is, we ARE the Divine spark, the world bridgers, the sacred in form. No longer will we hide…RISE & BE-AM! ~Jess Bray ♥

Happy to be alive…

so happy to be alive and of service at this monumental timeline of ascension. the key is love and the door is wide open. may the cosmic source fire burn the dross, where only love remains.      ~ Jess Bray ♥

Good Morning Meditation by Jess Bray

photo by Jess Bray
photo by Jess Bray

Feel the earth as she awakens below the roots of your feet. Feel the encompassing love rise within and hold it there, in the house of the heart. Greet the warmth of the morning sun and know your heart beats with it. Reach beyond all knowing, fully alive and connected to the highest source that lives within us. My earth queens and kings, bring through your crown the divine Light waves to meet thy mother, and feel the ecstasy as they dance as one, overflowing into all of your being, filling every particle with Love-Light. In this house of divine bliss, give thanks. Honor the directions, and allow your Love-Light to overflow to all the waking beings of the earth. ~Jess Bray ♥