Confessions of a former feminist…
Feminism, as defined by Merriam-Webster : The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities.
Yes! Equal rights and opportunities. I get down with that! AND Why does this seemingly larger than life word and movement, “feminism” mean equality of sexes? If we began calling it masculinism, I’m pretty sure there would be a fight, and rightfully so.
In my observation, the feminist movement stems from displaced anger. Anger over old separatist beliefs that do not serve us and are perpetuated by our continuing to “fight” them. When will we let go and simply honor what we have in common? We are human be-ings who want to love and be loved. Isn’t it time we let go of all the labels of division? Is our holding on to the idea of an inhibiting patriarchy continuing to hold us back and divide us? Don’t get me wrong, I have seen good things happen under the intentions of feminism, AND I’ve also seen a movement that oppresses men AND women in the process. It doesn’t feel like a step forward in balancing the pendulum, but an overcorrection in the other direction.
I see a world of kind, caring people incredibly guilt-ridden and afraid of being politically incorrect. Fuck politics! That’s an antiquated business for the power-hungry and afraid. We should be careful in “protecting” one that we do not oppress and silence another. I see feelings handled with kitty gloves today. I see people scared of sharing their ideas for fear of being labeled as sexist or racist. I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited to share this for that same fear of judgment from my many feminist friends. Even my 7 year old son began saying, “I hope this isn’t sexist/racist, but…” before some of his statements (that weren’t at all sexist/racist btw). Dude!! Is that what we want?!
No matter how hard we try, we can’t get equality by fighting against inequality. Energy doesn’t work that way. Where focus goes energy flows.
What I ask is for a revolution in our approach. The last time I checked, a person’s actions, not their private parts, skin color or place of birth, were the measure of their integrity. The future is NOT female. The future NOT male. The future is together. And while I’m at it, ALL lives matter. Sex, race and culture are beautiful and tell a story, but singling one out to place on a pedestal is exclusive and creates more division. These are constructs that do NOT require defending. They describe us NOT define us. Does the grey wolf judge a black wolf for its genetic variance of color? No! Nature does not judge, and as much as we may feel separate from it, we ARE nature.
Can we begin to see the differences as cause for celebration of our uniqueness instead of cause for finding fault and blame? For peace in the present and the future of our children and planet, I hope and believe so.
As I conclude, a majestic Stellar’s Jay just popped by my window with a nut in its mouth to remind me. Do not be afraid to stand out and speak your truth. Your seeds of wisdom are nothing to hide or be ashamed of but to be shared. The life of a visionary messenger can be a lonely, difficult road at times, but there’s a reason you’ve been gifted these pearls and strength of Spirit. For you might not be alone, and you may just be the only one brave enough to voice the heart of many. And when you do, you’ll likely find you’re not as alone as you once thought. Do not hide. Do not shrink yourself, and most importantly, do not fear what’s true to your heart and Soul. Love always prevails.
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